Don't DO That
is my humble effort to point out the common blunders made during the zigzag course
of developing one's gardening expertise. If I admonish, I will try to
do so politely; if I embarrass anyone, I apologize in advance, and if
you disagree, I'm sure I'll hear about it.
Don’t stake young trees at planting time.
Don’t call boulders or stone, “rocks.”
Don’t leave short stumps at the trunk when pruning branches from trees.
Don't build a stone, boulder, concrete or timber retaining wall on a slope without building it level.
Don’t plant Japanese and European Barberries (Berberis thunbergii and Berberis vulgaris)
Don’t mulch your perennials with wood chips or shredded hardwood
Don’t buy cheap, rinky-dink plastic landscape edging.
Don’t by a house or town home ruled by the iron fist of a naïve, narrow-minded Property
Owner’s Association without reading the fine print concerning gardens and landscaping.
Don’t think you’re saving money by landscaping with concrete products instead of natural stone.
Don’t build a wallstone retaining wall without backing drainage gravel.
Don’t place boulders in your yard as if they were just dropped from the truck.
Don’t treat organic pesticides and fungicides as if they pose no danger to your health.
Don’t add too much water when mixing a batch of concrete.
Don’t plant short plants in tall containers.
Don’t attempt to grow plants from seed without investing in grow lights.
Don’t plant a tree for Arbor Day.
Don’t cut ornamental grasses down at season’s end.
Don't wait until May to contact a landscaper!
Don’t buy a house without gutters.
Please don’t include photo attachments when you e-mail the Renegade Gardener.
Don’t freak out in fall when your evergreens develop orange needles that drop off.
Don’t buy a Zone 6 fountain for a Zone 4 yard.
Don’t use salt or other forms of de-icers on stone patios and walkways.
Don’t ever lay landscape cloth or weed barrier on the ground before planting.
Don’t divide shrubs
Don't forget white blooms!
Don't buy plants that are sitting on an asphalt parking lot or roadway.
Don’t landscape to reflect suppressed childhood demons.
Don’t assume the tree you plant was properly dug at the nursery.
Dear Nursery Industry: Don’t make bizarre plants just for the hell of it.
Don’t forget about planting for autumn leaf color.
evergreens in burlap for winter protection.
Don’t mix concrete retaining wall
block with natural stone.
Don’t seed a lawn as thick as most
people seed a lawn.
Don’t use standard nails and fasteners
with the new treated wood.
Don’t mow your lawn short in mid-summer.
Don’t dig perennials and small shrubs using a shovel.
Don’t go all nuts planting trees and shrubs this fall without submitting a soil test.
Don't divide and conquer.
Don't stomp around in, dig up plants from,
or rototill garden beds, in April.
Don't put mulch down around perennials
until June 15.
Don't water your garden beds with a lawn
Don't cut little circles into your lawn
and plant flowers in them.
Don't fertilize perennials, trees, or shrubs
after August 15th.
Don't cut live branches
off evergreen trees!
Don't design straight lines into the landscape.
Don't use rock as a ground cover around
trees and shrubs.
Don't circle trees with stuff.
Don't raise the soil level over tree roots.
Unless a formal hedge, don't
control the height of deciduous shrubs by topping.
Don't install plastic landscape edging
Don't plant evergreen trees without regard
to mature size.
Don't trim hedges into a "V"
Please don't E-mail the Renegade Gardener
with a list of 15 questions.
Don't use wood chips or shredded bark
as mulch in perennial beds.
Don't blow grass clippings or rake leaves
out into the street.